Conflicts between husband and wife.
The preaching of the Church “Diamond”
“CONFLICTS IN MARRIAGE”
1. DISAGREEMENT WITHOUT CONFLICT
People can disagree without conflict, but conflict often occurs because of disagreement. It’s not just a difference of opinion, but the inability to love when we disagree with someone.
Conflict – this is a situation where two people or more do not agree with the decision of whether a matter or diverge in the choice of priorities and this results in them failing to do the will of God to the people.
The root of the difference of opinion lies in the disagreement, ignorance, lack of communication. Sometimes a husband expects from his wife or children what they do not realize or they do not know how or can’t.
Paul and Barnabas had a disagreement because of Mark in Acts 15:36-41. This disagreement did not lead them to enmity and hatred. The problem was resolved through the formation of the second gospel team. This decision, in fact, accelerated the spread of the gospel. Paul and Barnabas did not get angry, did not cease to talk to each other and generally have something in common. None of them came out of the Christian Ministry, because “someone hurt him.” They both continued to serve the Lord.
Whenever a Church, organization or work for God nor begun, it passes through certain stages of development.
Here is an example of these stages. Read the following chapters in your Bible:
In Acts 6:1 . there are conflicts within the Church. The dispute arises because the distribution of products among the widows. Again, the disciples immediately resolve the conflict. They could just drown out the complaints, saying: “If you were spiritual, you would stop complaining”.
They also could say: “do Not resist the leadership that God has set. Obey or be ye separate!”
Instead, they have been good leaders. They said, “We hear that you have a problem. Let’s look together, and with God’s help, we can solve it”. (See Acts 6:2-7).
When any work of God nor begun, it will endure as blessings and disagreements that can escalate into conflict.
We must also remember that those who are Spirit-led is usually in conflict with those who are leading (maybe temporarily) flesh.
A good Christian does not ignore such a challenge. He calls people “worldly” if they bring problems. He immediately cope with the issues of discipline and conflict.
2. CONFLICT PREVENTION
The best way to deal with conflict is to prevent it before it happened. Here are some ways to prevent conflicts:
1. Share with people information. Embarrassment and lack of information creates problems. Establish strong bridges of communication with those who participate with you in the service. Good leaders in the Bible such as Moses, Nehemiah, Ezra, etc.) were sociable. If everyone knows what you are doing and why, have fewer opportunities for misunderstanding and conflict.
2. When you do God’s work, there will always be problems. Let people know what you expect of the problems that you are not surprised when they occur, and that you are sure that you will be able to solve them through the power of the Holy spirit.
3. Think in advance. With careful planning you can cope with many problems before they become conflicts.
4. Build strong relationships. Talk about good people. Express sincere appreciation.
5. If you make a mistake, be humble enough to admit and fix it.
3. THE TRUE CAUSE OF THE CONFLICT
The Bible reveals the true reason behind the conflict between believers and in the Church and Christian ministries:
“But if in your heart you Harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition, glory not and lie not against the truth.
Wisdom is not a wisdom that cometh down from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.
for where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice”. (James 3:14-16)
“Where did you enmity and strife? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?”(James 4:1).
“because you are still carnal. For if among you envying and strife, are ye not men? and human whether the custom come from?” (1 Corinthians 3:3)
Disagreements from escalating into conflicts and quarrels, when people are motivated by idols of the heart, not by a desire to show the glory of God in marriage.
4. HOW TO COPE WITH CONFLICTS
When a problem or conflict does occur, follow these guidelines:
1. Make yourself available to solve. You can’t solve problems if you are not around.
2. Pray for wisdom to solve.
3. Get rid of the log in your own eye (from the idols of your heart).
4. Discuss the disagreement with the partner in life with a willingness to understand their mistake or willingly with love to show him his problem.
Define the real problem. Conflict is not a real problem. What caused this conflict is the problem. To identify the problem, you need to ask questions, to observe and to continue to pray for understanding roots. Always remember about the real source of problems (James 3:14-16; 4:1; 1 Corinthians 3:3) .
5. Consider his and his companion’s propensity of behavior in conflict (the slippery slope of conflict).
6. To cope with the conflict with the right attitude. Be ready to forgive, seek recovery, not rigor in the relationship. Love. Don’t threaten or get angry. Don’t let people yell or say about each other is offensive. Demonstrate the ability to cope with difficult situations with wisdom and love, not hurting people. This implies sensitivity to others, understanding and choosing words that restore and heal, not divide and hurt. Be flexible. Don’t insist. Be open to different ideas and ways of resolving the problem.
7. Solve one conflict or problem at a time. Do not jump from one problem to another, let associated with it don’t put everything in one pile.
8. When you have a clear understanding of the problem caused the conflict, take action to immediately correct it. Remember that the solution is always to promote the Kingdom of God. Turn conflict into cooperation, as in the example of Paul and Barnabas.
9. Actively seek reconciliation and forgiveness from the heart.
10. Explain to others (children, relatives, friends), how do you solve the conflict in this way. For example, in Church conflict, described in Acts 15 . the leaders explained his decision, writing in detail about it in a letter to all participants.
11. Thank God for the problem and what you learned from this experience and learned a lot.