Education punishment and education implications
People say: “learn from mistakes”. It seems easier, but it took a long time to the character of the child was formed on the principle of education through natural and logical consequences. For example, because of its eternal nesobrannosti the boy returned home without his favorite toy — now the whole rest of the summer will take on walk old. Let him learn to watch your own stuff, because that beautiful truck in the shop is just not there. This is the reality. The logical impact of the situation on the child more than if my parents scolded him, called him a wimp, bookrules about the high cost of lost things and in the end reluctantly bought a new expensive toy. What will you learn in this reaction adults? At best, the fact that parents are responsible for everything. It is known that the accusations, swearing, notation or cry on many children do not apply.
Education logical or natural consequences could significantly defuse the relationship between parents and children. Because often in a family there is a clear confrontation, and it seems that the only question is who will win: mother, driving slow child, or a child who by his deliberate slowness wants to attract her attention. In the end, both lose, because at the time of the dispute disappears harmony of their relationship.
Education consequences means the transition to neutrality. Mothers have to consider what will happen if you don’t intervene, depending on the situation, either let it happen or to explain the essence of the case and provide him a choice. For example: “If you continue to dig, late in the children’s garden”. Or: “I’ll take you to the kindergarten, even if you are not yet Packed”. One must speak calmly, without anger and be seriously ready to do this. Not everyone can go to the teacher in front of all the children yelled at his kid for being late, so the other kids mocked him for what he appeared unkempt and wearing Slippers. But if the child is in some limits will be responsible for responsibility, parents will be easier to teach him to act with the consciousness of this responsibility. Fewer words you will spend parents, the better. Besides brevity will allow them to avoid the child “deafness” to the parent appeals.
The only conclusion that makes the child after punishment is: “Adults are stronger than me. The next time you need to be careful that I again did not get”. Punishment often give rise to fear, but guilt only occurs in rare cases. The consequences show the power of reality, punishment — adult superiority. Young children already understand the principle of liability for damages: bottled juice is supposed to help fix the mess, didn’t clean up their toys — do not be surprised that small detail sucked by vacuum and the figure of the designer is now not going to, sit and play with food — so not hungry, come out from behind the Desk. Examples show that negative consequences logically follow from the corresponding action. Even small children are able to understand what they are guilty.
The consequences are directly related to the improper behavior, such punishment is no logical connection. “Moratorium” on TV, a new toy, “house arrest” — these are the standard penalties for misconduct or error. But why on earth should ban the five-year child to watch TV if he cut off the ears of a Teddy rabbit with his younger sister? Perhaps it will be for him a heavy blow, but he will learn only what the parents decide on the punishment, and against this there was nothing he could do. Logicheskie consequence could be: “You ruined the hare, so will buy new sister for money from their piggy banks”. Or this: “Let her take what you like from your toys”.
The consequences do not bear any moral evaluation. Punishment often serve as “moral judgment”. If the baby cries, whimpers, canufit, there are two options for your behavior: to send him to the nursery, saying, “Go whine elsewhere, don’t bother!” But it is the penalty which the child will not be able to understand. Easiest time to explain that when he whimpers loudly, mom can’t concentrate, so let him go to his room and calm down when, will be able to return. Thus, against the actual whimpering and especially against the child says nothing, but the mother clearly shows where the border. And the child is free to decide how to do now: crying alone in his room or play near his mother.
In talking about the consequences of the tone is calm and firm, when punishment is irritated. This is the most embarrassing item. Intonation we demonstrate the difference between consequence and punishment (as a result of certain conduct of the child). Parents should try to control myself. If while brushing your teeth each time played the show, and the unhappy mother says: “you will Be digging, not going to read you a story”, is likely to worsen the mood of both her and the child, there will be a mutual dissatisfaction. Using the technique of logical consequences, it would be better to say: “you will Be wasting time, it won’t have a fairy tale”. So the child will quickly learn that the mother is not pressing in on him, and on him depends, what will be tonight.
Education logical consequences — not a prescription for all cases, but rather, the setting for parents who want to work on themselves. No matter how seductive in its simplicity may seem, this principle, it is not so simple. If you want to raise a child responsible for their actions, we must believe in his ability to do this. It’s not easy. Naturally, parents want to protect their child from possible negative, internally opposed to give him the opportunity to learn anything the hard way. They are hard because they are responsible for it. The limit of “autonomy” — the evidence of risk: I understand that you cannot allow the child to run out into the street, that he realized how dangerous the machine.
But in other situations it is not easy to observe the inner distance towards children and say to myself, “That’s his business, no need to intervene, my child is able to decide what prealg-honor — to hurry or be late. Four years is a big enough age to be responsible for the consequences”. Of course, this approach is possible only when the mother really care about what will be the choice. If, for example, the child in time to kindergarten because she can’t be late to work, then it is necessary to clearly explain why it should be slow.
The calm necessary for the education of the consequences, is not easy, primarily because the use of this method — instead of push and punishment is often required especially in stressful circumstances. Help only one to think in advance how to respond in the expected difficult situations, such as in the eternal conflict for cleaning, dressing, eating — and to act according to plan.
The use of logical consequences requires patience from parents. The child needs to get used to taking personal responsibility for himself, and this happens not at once, and perhaps only in those areas in which parents can really consider him capable of making decisions. To prevent sunburn on the beach you need to lubricate the skin sunscreen is, of course, the problem parents. But whether to spend at the kiosk once all your pocket money and then be left with nothing — the task is quite feasible for six or seven year old child.