Parental Divorce: the child after divorce
Well, if a baby has a full family and the world in it. However, inexorable statistics show that for every two prisoners of marriage, there is one divorce. And well, if it’s a family very young, not burdened with children and joint property. Otherwise, the whole world is collapsing for the child if mom and dad decided that they live apart much calmer. How to help your child?
The child is always sensitive to the fact that parents are getting divorced. On the other hand, from this test it can come out more Mature and powerful. Children of preschool and adolescent perceived parental divorce as one of the most destructive stress. At first they even deteriorating health, there is apathy. and sometimes aggression in behavior. The child after the divorce is experiencing the loss of a sense that he was safe . But the above can be avoided if parents will choose the right line of conduct. You can always negotiate humanly.
First of all, it is important to pay much attention to your child, that is at once convince him of its exceptional significance for the parents and not to let him have any sense of guilt.
Parents often ask themselves: how to tell the child about the divorce? Even when the separation has been made, in no case do not place the son or daughter with a fait accompli, they say everything, we’re with each other part. You need to give the child the opportunity to ask as many questions as possible. In the explanations that immediately mention: this is not a divorce of the parents of the baby, and divorce of husband and wife. Perhaps it’s the story of how the couple met, talked, liked each other even before birth. To explain that, although with respect to the spouse the love is gone, feelings for him remained the same.
Remember the important rules that will help to tell your child about your decision.
1. Start the conversation about divorce when the decision was finally made.
2. Remove the responsibility for the incident with the child: “You are not to blame. For what happened, we answer only to the Pope”.
3. It would not have been ex-husband, speak positively of him. Despite the divorce of her parents, son or daughter, daddy’s got to be the best in the world, even if it is far from reality. A child cannot “drag” on your side. Let them make their own conclusions – after years.
It is possible that even after these words, the child will be tears, anger, frustration – this is a normal reaction. Parental divorce is a difficult test for him. Don’t interrupt, let them Express their emotions. It is certainly possible, such a situation that the child after the divorce will continually ask the same question, for example: “how come you and dad don’t live together?” . Annoyed is not necessary, respond calmly, even several times. Children need time to realize what had happened.
Not always the divorce process is peaceful. If mom or dad is so excited that unable to discuss the topic of divorce baby, better so him immediately and say. It’s alright to shift the burden of conversation with a child on an adult not involved in the conflict.
If the child after the divorce is silent and not ask questions, this does not mean that he accepted my situation. In this case, parents can choose to raise the topic of divorce, even if it’s hard for them and for the baby. Most importantly – not to allow him to withdraw into himself. If done correctly, the child after the divorce will become stronger, realizing that life, unfortunately, it happens and such.
Divorce – this is a huge stress for the child, I know from personal experience.
But the most important rule, which is mentioned in the article that in no event it is impossible to involve the child in
the conflict of the parents, and never speak badly about the other parent in the presence of a child, as if you to it is not treated.
For a child you are still MOM and DAD, whom he loves – and parents must maintain his sense of love to the child, leaving him in his doubts.