Someone will say — again the child’s upbringing . Indeed much has been written about it. But, even if there are many unresolved issues in many families, it means you can and should talk. In this article I will talk about the relationship between children and parents about the education of their own personality, pronounced. We will talk about the importance of establishing a friendly, trusting relationship, create in the family a positive atmosphere for your child in the future was able to successfully adapt to adult life.
We often forget that the education of the child — it is a matter of paramount importance. After all, whatever we’ve done in my life still, will ultimately prove to be the best of all our creations — these are our children.
What will be our best creation? We parents should never forget that our baby, who is only two years, or five years, or thirteen, will not always remain so, that the greater part of his life he will still be an adult, to surround him will be the same adults and outsiders.
From this we can draw only one conclusion: let your child to educate a person. Perhaps this is the main secret of parenting. Therefore, it is the upbringing of the child and can be called concern about its future.
And so, a child is born. He’s totally still do not know how, except to sneeze, hiccup, well, something else. All the time he is with his parents, if lucky, even with grandparents.
We think it is around learning. It is, but it is important to understand that it is not our exact copy, not a clone, it’s a completely different person, though still tiny, with their own unique character.
From the first day we face the temptation of education under the vision of this process. Often it becomes a gross mistake of the parents. Do not try rude and inconsiderate in its sole discretion to alter your child. More important to try to understand him, to help him better adjust to the conditions of its existence. And not only understand, but have to accept, and to love your baby as he was born. Otherwise, he will be able to love and accept yourself then?
Let us reflect on the issue — what is love to your child? I think — it’s hugs and kisses, it caresses? No, all this is only a demonstration of our feelings but not the feelings themselves.
I think love — it is indulging his whims and tears? And this, too, dislike it even if I may say so, is not the lack of education, simply it is our unconditional selfishness. Let’s be honest, that allowing the baby not long after that, he stopped crying, we’re just trying to achieve your own peace and comfort.
Even worse screams and punishment, as not only to bitterly admit, our own selfishness, which is spiced with aggression, which is only a consequence of our unsolved problems. And notice, OUR, but not our baby.
To explain his position to the child, and convincingly, much harder and without resorting to cheating, or cries.
Child rearing is often accompanied by another error — self-sacrifice in everyday life, sometimes excessive, To sacrifice used by many modern parents and especially mothers. It’s not that.
First: it is your own choice. Very often, «caring» parents hear in response to their accusations: “You And I never asked”. And he is absolutely right: He’s not asked to sacrifice themselves for his sake.
Secondly: so is found in many families — your parents worked hard for you, you for the sake of your baby, he, in his time, ‘ll live and die for their children? Something of a vicious circle.
Are we kidding ourselves. After all, the baby is happy, when his parents happy. You should not hope that you manage to hide his fatigue, irritation or stress. Our children are much more sensitive to our emotions and feelings than we parents think. It’s basically a guarantee of its survival.
What is the solution? Actually, I think it’s very simple: love — this is when us and our children well with each other.
Maybe I was lucky that my parents were my best friends. I have never heard in the address of accusations, convictions, and complaints. And this method of child rearing has become a milestone in my adult life.
My experience of parenthood has shown that it is one of the most simple, effective, and most importantly, enjoyable and effective options for the relationship between children and parents.
But, unfortunately, it is not that at all. Let’s think about it when you yell at the child, punish, scold him, reproach him, watch him, ban something and stuff, stop and think: but with friends you would have done so?
Don’t get me wrong — to punish, deny, criticize, and so on — this is certainly the case of each parent. Each was acting in accordance with his situation and at its discretion. But do not count for themselves the trouble to think about it, would you do the same to your friend, girlfriend, exactly in the same form, the same tone?
Dare I suggest a great welcome — for a moment try to imagine yourself in the place of the guilty, or naughty child, his girlfriend Lena or his friend Misha. Well, tell me honestly, will scream and whoop their ass? And constantly kissing the top of her head or sit on your neck will allow?
Of course not — right?
But what we are capable of giving birth, but I’m not able to spend. To teach him to read aloud poems with stools? Or politely greet hateful not only to you but to the entrance of the neighbor? Give your favorite neighbor shovel in the sandbox and shed bitter tears?
What easier — remember kids, be sure to remember these bits of questionable usefulness, once grafted to you by your parents.
I’m sure you’ll find them ugly, and most importantly unnecessary to present his adult life. Think about what you need if your child should repeat your way to make your same mistakes. Honestly talk to him, honestly, what education the child you choose?
Teach your child the ability to self-improve. The important thing is to teach him to make thoughtful decisions. Not to worry, it only sounds complicated. Actually, for us it is important for parents to teach their children the ability to choose. And let our children know that any choice should be appropriate consequences. Be happy !