My child too aggressive
My child is too aggressive. Candid conversations with the psychologist parents: I Have a very aggressive child, I don’t know what to do with it, “My son fights and bites”, “My daughter is uncontrollable, aggressive”. Lately I often hear this phrase from your parents.
The word “aggression”, which a few years ago hardly found in the lexicon parents, now, thanks to the media, very common. What is it?
Children’s aggression is a normal phenomenon, which is associated with the psychological characteristics of each age. But parents, in order aggressiveness did not become a stable trait, we need to understand what happens to the child why he became aggressive.
What influences the development of aggression in children?
Primarily on the development of aggressive affects the family. If the family, especially the mother, the child does not receive enough attention. love and care, she will be different ways to attempt to obtain or kompensirovat.
Moreover, good deeds of the child, such parents take for granted. And aggressive actions react quickly and emotionally. And although it is the emotion of anger, resentment and annoyance, but still an emotion that is lacking in the child.
Even if the child will be punished, he will be hurt and upset, but he was attracted to (though not consciously) to the attention of adults. So parents subconsciously gradually themselves reinforce the negative behavior of children.
In addition, the child-the student will become aggressive if his bad behavior and poor grades parents punish with a belt. don’t communicate with him (playing coy), forbidden to love, refuse to communicate with friends.
Remember! Aggression parents causes aggression in children.
Also on the development of aggression is influenced by the fact that parents often encourage and approve of such behavior of a son or daughter. For example, the son brings the comments in the diary that fought with a classmate. Parents are finding out that the neighbor took his pencil case.
The father and sometimes the mother, it says, “Properly turned not to take other people’s things”. But next time the son will do the same. And let him abuse at school, but at home he praised, pleased with his actions. (Do I need to praise children and how to do it right, read this article).
Of course, to overcome the aggressive behavior of children, parents need to abandon the use of physical punishment, parenting with power, humiliation of a person.
If a child is naughty and even a little, the accumulated aggression will return the peers, and when you grow up, gain strength, will return it to the parents. In addition, it is necessary to influence the character formation of the child.
Show your child that Your family members really respect others, sincerely help friends, condolences in your grief. Pay attention to how You behave in conflict situations.
You can still advise parents to take care of that son or daughter were engaged in certain activities – sports, games, and the fabrication of structures from Legos, reading books, drawing, working with You – and see what fights will be less of them once will do it.
The child is aggressive with other children
The next aspect that contributes to the development of aggressive behavior in children – relationship with other children. Modern children are cruel to each other. But every kid has to take its place among peers. It is possible that in some cases the child using force to protect itself.
Success in the group will have a child who is familiar with communication skills: will be able to attract the attention verbally and non-verbally, okay for others to Express their thoughts and desires, to understand and explain the actions of others.
Your attention and analysis requires the problem to the failure of other children to play with your toddler. This is possible because bullies don’t like and play with them don’t want to.
Prove to your child that in order was friends with him, he should be interesting for peers to be able to help, and support each other, to understand him, to be able to negotiate, and sometimes to give in.
Special attention should be paid to the school workload and relationship with the teacher (if the program of the institution designed for a very strong children).
Children who can’t keep a predetermined master tempo, orientation in the classroom only on the correct answer contributes to the strengthening of nervous tension that finds “exit” at recess and at home.
The role of teachers (especially in elementary school) is very important. This is the second authority after the parents, and sometimes the first. Parents who care about the welfare of their child, should choose not so much the school as teachers.
The technology is very simple: to talk in person, to talk about the curriculum and talk with 2 – 3 parents of the graduating class of that teacher, to acquaint the child with the teacher that the child made up your mind.
Finally I want to say a few words in defense of aggressive behavior. Anger mobilizes energy, increases the capacity for self-defense.
Remember: adequate expression of anger contributes to social, physical and personal well-being of a man, but only if it is socially accepted norms.