HABITS! HARMFUL OR HELPFUL?
All parents dream that their children were good, they were happy, and most parents are aware that children must carefully educate. However, many parents do not know how practically to take the case and proceed to the education of their children in a timely manner. The special challenge of parenting is that painful for parents and children mistakes sometimes become visible only after many years.
One of the common mistakes of parents is the lack of understanding of the need for education of habits. Let us understand what is a habit? When it arises? What are the ways of forming new habits? How to root encountered in children bad habits?
The first habit (need, desire to perform certain actions) arise in early childhood. Habit often occurs on the basis of one or another skill, the skill is like paving the way habit, and enhances its appearance. If the child has learned fluent and accurate reading, he may acquire the habit of regularly reading books, and in older age to follow the new fiction. Learning to wield a needle, iron, child easier will develop a habit to keep track of their clothing, to be always neat and clean.
On the other hand, many bad habits arise from incorrectly secured or bad is a learned skill. For example, it creates a habit incorrectly keep a spoon or fork a child who has not been trained to use them.
Habits can be useful, contributing to the emergence of positive character traits, but may be harmful to the formation of child’s personality.
Different habits occur in different years of life. To know in what years the lives of children and in what order you need to educate certain good habits, pay attention to when and how they are laid.
It is easy to determine the time of occurrence of each individual habits. Began the child himself to undress grown accustomed to remove or scatter shot with things. Went child to school – there was an habit put in a portfolio school supplies in advance or in the morning in a hurry. There is a need to cook their own meals, coming from school formed a habit to remove or not the dishes.
So, we can say that habits are formed when for the first time there is a new activity of the child, for the first time when he faces new things, new responsibilities.
Realizing this, parents should be particularly aware of all actions and circumstances that arise in a child’s life for the first time. The child has learned to brush your teeth is essential that this skill was passed in his habit, that is, that he did every morning without a reminder on your part. First time buying books for your child, point to the location of their storage and for several days will make sure that he did not throw them anywhere, and cleaned on the spot.
The timing of education new habits are closely linked with the question of the origin of bad habits. Will not take care of the parents in time to lay a good habit and instead may spontaneously arise another harmful habit. Has not cultivated the habit of washing hands before eating, so already have a habit of taking food with dirty hands. ‘t teach 3 to 4 year old child to put away their things in place, he fixates habit to throw everything haphazardly.
A good habit could be easy and simple, but resolve instead of her bad habits will require much more effort, patience, time.
What are the tools brought up a new habit? Many believe that for the formation of new habits, children need only to explain what is required of them. Of course, since that time, as the child learns to understand speech, some action should be accompanied by an explanation of why it must be done. But the explanation may not always be clear to the child and may not lead to the desired result. Habit is nurtured not so much by words but by deeds and actions.
The older the children, the more it becomes possible to use their minds when rearing habits. But even they are not always able to understand and correctly evaluate the appropriateness of certain actions, and to wait until the child will grow up to realize the necessity of these actions is to lose time and thereby to prejudice his upbringing.
For the education of any new habits parents should care about the organization of his actions. For example, if parents want their child to acquire the habit early and quickly get up in the morning, need to Wake up its always at the same time and make sure he got up immediately, do not linger in bed. It is important that the bed making, washing, Breakfast, the child did without delay, every day, in the same order.
For turning any action into a habit, it is important not only for the repetition of this action, but, even more, a result that carries out this action. It is easy to notice that the child tends to repeat such actions which lead to success, and pleasure. If after you trouble, the child will usually become to avoid it.
Sometimes parents, without noticing, instead, to distract the child from any action themselves to get him used to it. For example, a child in the store crying and demands to buy him a toy. Mother, so he does not cry, it takes the whim. Next time he cries again, again and requires the mother again inferior to him. This is repeated several times. Thus the child has formed a habit whims to achieve the desired. This habit would not have arisen if the tears do not lead to the desired result. Incorrectly reacting to the actions of the children, the parents themselves often destroy good habits and contribute to the emergence of evil.
So, to correct bad habits is much harder than the time to create a good new. In other families, the life turns to hell, as parents are forced continually annoying to repeat the same comments directed to “remake” bad habits: “You’re not hung clothes”, “Wash shoes”, “don’t bite your nails.” Not to point that out as if it is impossible, if you want to get rid of bad habits. But if from morning till evening parents make comments, and their relationships with children deteriorate, to get worse.
The process of eradicating bad habits of children requires considerable time and it is impossible to shift all the burden of fighting with them placed on the tender the will of the child. Parents need to patiently assist him. Habit, setting a little and for a long time, get rid of likewise gradually and after a long struggle with it, as it lies deep in the nervous system of the child.
But before you begin to struggle with addictions child, you should think about the reasons why this habit has occurred, and to act against the causes and not against the consequences. If you are going to eradicate the habit, not the cause, its origin, this habit may appear to stop, but her place will definitely replace the other, and who knows, maybe you will like it even less.
Our job as parents to help the child to develop from a very early age habits that would help him adapt to the world, to be confident and solid.