Child listens to his parents what to do, the reasons
The sun rolled into the sunset, and peas with a dry crack all bounced and bounced off the wall and with a dispassionate clatter clattered to the floor… No, I’m fine! Just wanted to find even a drop of humor in the dismal picture illustration of one of the most famous maternal sayings: “like talking to the wall”. That’s only fair, had to sigh about their child? Had! Probably every mother at least once in his life uttered the phrase, in the hearts or as a result of fruitless thought. Why our children can’t hear us, don’t want to listen?
And really – why? This question is asked moms of kids of different ages. Sometimes a simple and clear answer lies on the surface. It may well be that small (or even not so little) stubborn is not stubborn, but just can’t hear us literally, physically, although the hearing had everything in order. Why? This is not a complete list of options. And ridiculously simple methods of solving the situation.
“Happy hours are not watching!”
And enthusiastic’t see anything around! Often the child is so passionate about the game, occupation, observing, thinking that actually can’t hear anything around, including the twenty-fifth mother’s invitation to dinner. Gold blessed moments! If possible, do not interrupt them! But sometimes there is no choice, and you have to return the child to the reality: gently, carefully, subtly. Unobtrusive joined in the game, a delicate touch, the contact “eye to eye”.
Speaking of eye contact: the child is much shorter than an adult, it is physically situated in another “tier” and not always perceives cues from the “upper world”. In this situation you just need to “get down on the floor below” and find your sight these bottomless eyes, that’s all!
Also down with wordiness and lengthy “sawing” and “study”! The child is not able to keep the attention on one thing for too long, and if it is also not very nice, if not. More than two or three minutes of our lecture him not to suffer at all desire! And our fiery speech filled with eloquent hyperbole and metaphors, is likely to remain unacknowledged offspring. Therefore, all comments and suggestions to better Express in a clear and concise manner – in accordance with his age and development. But, not forgetting, however, about the daily work of a child – about the acquisition of their skill to keep his attention, to listen to long and not always literal text.
Moms who adopted enough adults children children of school age — share this observation is that these children are able to perceive only a short monosyllabic phrases-orders, and they have to learn in this sense greater. So without fanaticism: we are just dealing with a child take note that our baby is still inferior to the us in the ability to hold the attention, but every day is developing in this direction.
Not cleaned the bed, dirt in the notebook, ripped tights, note in the diary, and not purchased here for dinner bread is the last straw: on the child’s head spilling all his “sins” for the last time. Everything is fair, and my mother’s emotions can be understood, but this “voice crying in the wilderness” is unproductive. You should not mix in a bunch of several claims or orders! Remember the nursery rhyme? Mom, going to the store, gave her son Lemele a few errands. And he completed them, but… messed up everything: washed wood instead of a plate and the plates smashed with an axe along the wood, and so on. Mom, of course, was upset when I came in. But if she gave the instructions a little less, but still would have specified their order, her son would be so much easier! And so came the incident: “SIS, plates, rooster and wood… Lemele only one head!”
And the child’s body, fortunately, has a remarkable ability to “shut down” and not hear an angry scream, and cry if even a habit, then, as they shared their feelings girl Dink from the novel by V. Oseeva, the child only hears the tone: “BU-BU-BU”. So… conclusions, perhaps, obvious.
It seems to be not such a sad picture, do you think? But what if the “deafness” of the child, our word is the position, protest or… habit? Where to look for a solution, when the little man transmits all essence the thesis of “don’t want to hear”? How much food for thought! Signal a serious signal that something is going wrong. Impossible without knowing the situation in a short article is to comprehensively answer these questions. One thing is certain: to start the change with yourself, with a parent. And, waiting to be heard, it is important to be able to hear yourself – what’s the word of the message key? Don’T WANT to hear? What do you want? Nothing I want? It does not happen. Want, and want very much – confidence. Maybe it’s time to move to a qualitatively new level of communication with the child, like this, where there is more mutual trust and, consequently, responsibility.
“YOU don’t want to listen,” generously seasoned with the bitter sauce of neglect and largely contrived conflict between fathers and children. Ahead is impossible. It remains to be patient, to wait and observe carefully. And who wants to listen? What a voice, huh? Okay, so in the end the young man would have heard the real me. And while the parent is waiting, believe and be interesting yourself and possibly someone else.
“Don’t want to HEAR”. Want to move – to run, to fly, to seek, to rush and be late, to fill their cones to carry in your pocket your own rake! To hell with the experience of past generations! “I”, “my”, “myself” — it was already in 3 years. Then it goes. All. Absolutely all.
Only this life stage is more difficult is experienced by those children whose parents are unable in early childhood to create a natural and harmonious system of hierarchy in the family, to teach a child to endure, to wait, to give, to feel the other. And or steel for your child’s authoritarian dictators, or Vice versa — “is equal to another”, in its Board guy, and not a parent, kind, loving, guiding hand which the child needs.
Want to be heard – learn to listen to myself. Good advice for both parents and children. Simple and so obvious truth, but infinitely difficult in his incarnation. But because the road starts going underfoot — will do! Let the walls of misunderstanding and nieslychanie melt like ice. Let monologues germinate into each other and become dialogues. And… let’s not spilling dry, indifferent and unemotional peas!