How to cope with children’s tears
Many women prefer to teach children mind shouting, prohibitions, even a spanking, being confident that their child will cease, at last, to misbehave. But, actually, such methods can hardly achieve a positive result.
Throwing harsh words and threats that still does not bring any good, parents are attacking the child, and do not resolve the problem.
In any case, do not yell at the child and, especially, don’t hurt him. First, emerging fear. according to many psychologists, contributes to the education of the child abuse to the world, the idea that all can be achieved by force, and the reputation of the parent as the authority may be in the children’s eyes hopelessly flawed. But to indulge the whims of a child is not worth it, because this helps to ensure that he gets used to always insist on this way.
So first find out the cause of whims, and if the baby is not right, try to calmly point this out, affecting only the conscience, but do not awaken in him feelings of fear.
Remember that the child begins to act up, most often, only if there are good reasons, for example:
• the desire to attract the attention of others. Attention to children is vital. Without constant communication with others, he ceases to feel that there is. And therefore, even a negative reaction from adults, for it is better than indifference;
• ordinary ignorance of other ways about anything or ask anyone to call. It is possible that the child has developed a reflex that is associated with the fact that in early childhood came to him and began to fuss only after prolonged squeals. Therefore, gradually, the child unconsciously begins to use the Creek as their “weapon”;
• children are not able to control emotions as well as adults. Therefore Caprice may appear “natural” reasons: the child is hungry, tired, wants to go to the toilet…
Do not rush to take any action until you know the true cause of a whim.
If the child does not wish to obey, and, falling into hysterics, pounding his hands and feet on the floor, offer one good way to quiet him without shouting and indulgence: try to shut up and go to another room. Trust me – this is a terrible punishment for the child. Soon the confused kid will come running to You and will certainly start asking some questions. Try to ignore it until then, until he realizes his mistake and not correct it. And this he will do, because children are ready on all for the sake of them again started talking.
“How can he not scold if he is a hundred times saying the same thing, and he still won’t listen!” you may exclaim.
Try to approach this problem from the other side. First, children should not unreasonably deny to do anything, because the desire to explore the world in their tender age is very high. And if You say, for example: “don’t stick your fingers in the socket”, – the child will begin to torment the incredible curiosity. He will want to know, what is interesting in it is.
But needless to frighten children – can develop a phobia .
Because You will not be able to explain to the kid what electricity is and how dangerous is it, in such cases, you should choose other methods. The child needs to be distracted, and in the case of threat to life and health just to eliminate the possibility of access to hazardous objects.
Another way to influence is to arouse pity: “Take, please, sweetheart, or I’ll get upset and cry.” In a pinch, you can laugh at him or say a phrase: “If you’re going to nail biting. you can become a laughing stock”. Of course, the child will think and will most likely fix the error.
All mothers want their children to be happy, many people pamper their children, and someone always goes with them for the handle. However, this behavior of parents is hardly a good impact on the child. Because zatarivanie baby toys and sweets from an early age may further degenerate into selfishness and megalomania, and constant monitoring will be deprived of their autonomy and confidence.
Try to teach your child to be independent since childhood, while not ceasing to give it proper attention. And remember that a happy child does not mean rich. Sometimes even health is not the main “attribute” of happiness, because a happy child is one child that I love.