Parental Divorce: what problems in children after the divorce?
In life some couples there comes a point when they realize that their relationship is over and the marriage has no future. According to statistics, the number of couples who had decided to divorce, at the beginning of the XXI century has increased several times.
Such an extreme step is most common among young couples aged 25 to 30 years. Many parents try to save the marriage to preserve the family for the child. However, according to psychologists, faced with such cases in different countries, such a decision is fundamentally wrong and eventually brings desired results. Experts are unanimous in the opinion that the child is more important to see their parents happy separately than how miserable they are together.
The state of children after parents ‘ divorce
It is in the family the child learns the world, looking for his own place in it, learns to love, understand, forgive and enjoy life. Therefore, the relationship of parents perceived them as an example to follow. Looking for their parents, children learn their model of behavior in difficult situations. Based on this, they will try to build their own relationship. Thus, family tear will inevitably affect the psychological state of the child after divorce. For him is primarily emotional trauma associated with tremendous stress. According to the observations of experts, the greatest negative influence in this situation affected the psyche of the boys. It is established that the older the child, the stronger his feelings associated with the breakup of the family.
Changes in relationships with others
In children can manifest in bouts of aggression in dealing with teachers or classmates. For many are characterized by bad behavior and lack of obedience. Child ’s fighting off the hands”, trying not to comply with the generally accepted rules and norms of behavior. Some children may even feel a sense of shame for my family to friends and acquaintances. All this leads to problems in school.
Deterioration of the General psycho-physical condition
Children perceive their parents ‘ divorce as something very personal. In most cases, the child develops a sense of guilt for parents split up. Not less common in children and the children’s sense of fear – begin to fear losing love, especially a parent who left the family. Often the child shows anger on someone with whom he continued to live after the divorce. These children become very capricious, demanding greater attention. Because of a broken psyche can worsen, and overall health of the child: he begins to get sick more often.
The emergence of feelings of jealousy and abandonment
Very often the children after the divorce of his parents begin to fear the emergence of a new family, a stranger. In their opinion, it will attempt to take attention of the parent. So the child gets jealous, feeling not wanted. In this situation, he may run away from home, most of their time striving to spend with friends or even stay a night there to get a feel for what a full family.
How to avoid the consequences
After the divorce, many parents worry how much the child is going through this situation, and how it will affect his / her future education. Parents always remain the most important people in the lives of their children, and divorce should not change the relationship with the child. To avoid severe consequences, you should try to give the child as much attention, surround parental love, care and follow the advice of child psychologists.
Be honest with the child
If a divorce is imminent, you need to tell the truth about this child. Straight talk would be the best solution. If You can explain the situation, the child will not blame their parents in unfair treatment and lies. Talk to your child and reassure: Your divorce is not his fault. Help him to understand the causes of the incident and explain that parents will love him no matter what.
Maintain a warm atmosphere
In dealing with a child you cannot set it up against one of the parents. Don’t hurt the already vulnerable psyche of children, do not let children became witnesses of how adults find out the relationship. Otherwise, the child may develop an increased aggressiveness. To avoid this, parents should spend more time with your child, letting him know that he is loved. Arrange joint trips to the Park, go to museums, cinemas and exhibitions. This will allow the child to take in sad thoughts about the divorce, and in the future – get used to them faster.
Create a sense of order and stability
After a divorce, the child often remains with the mother, and experiencing the fact of a broken family, he is greatly upset to see my dad much less. To help make new things, try to prepare your child for the changes that will lead to divorce, gradually. Children and parental divorce, and other difficult periods of life easier to bear if they will be a sense of order and stability. Try to arrange regular meetings with the other parent, let them be certain days and certain times. Perhaps, then, the child will not be angry at him for leaving the family. Thus it is not necessary to change your child accustomed to the conditions of life – the school that he attends, place of residence, the environment.
Contribute to the formation of the image of the second parent
According to most psychologists, it is important, first of all, not having a second parent in the family, and the formation of his image in the children’s minds. Usually it is a generalized and idealized image. If after the divorce the child brings mother, the idea of the father, he will collect the crumbs, combining the traits of the friends of men, whom he admires. You can help him in this, expanding the circle of acquaintances and meeting with couples. Communicating with them, the child is watching how adults behave in different situations, what they think and say that they are interested in. If you have the opportunity to build relationships with a new family of the other parent, show your child how to behave in conflict situations and to correctly communicate.
Take the support of loved ones
After the divorce becomes an accomplished fact, most relatives cease to play a significant role in the lives of children, focusing rather on the conflict itself. The feeling of uselessness in the child is only growing. In such situations, you need a love, warmth and understanding of loved ones, whom the child used to trust. Surviving after divorce communication will strengthen his fragile psyche and overall physical condition. Relatives and friends are able to support, to cheer the child, become the pillar of support he needed during this difficult period of life.
Drug Tenoten Child will help Your child to cope with personal experiences.