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How to raise a child and not mess it up?


When parents begin to over-pamper their children, these often become self-centered, rude and demanding personalities. From these traits not just to get rid of, spoiled brat turning into a selfish adult with a complete lack of self-control. But regardless of the age of your kid, it’s not too late to learn how to raise a child and help him become a good man.

Do not attempt to give the child all

Any parent wants to give their child the best of everything. This is natural, because we sincerely wish happiness to our children. In most cases, new toys, gifts and games are actually associated in children with happiness. But sometimes, the parents, understanding that they are not able to devote sufficient time to your child, his load with presents gifts and all other things that he wants.

It takes very little time and the baby gets used to the fact that you bring him everything on a silver platter. It turns out that some parents begin to lie to their child from birth, because the reality is – if you are not rich, your children will have to work hard your whole life to secure a comfortable existence.

If you want to properly raise a child and not to spoil it, try not to get caught up in a lie. When you give children everything they want, they grow up with the misconception that it always will. Having grown up and getting the most expensive car or a leading position on the first job, they are disappointed and for the rest of your life lose confidence. To avoid this, teach your children to be self-sufficient.

Teach your children discipline

Discipline is not only useful for children, it helps improve self-esteem and believe in themselves. To instill in the child the confidence it is not so difficult to put in front of him achievable creative goals to support, encourage and recognize small victories. When children understand that they can overcome many difficulties without parental care, their confidence grows, they begin to feel more free and independent. The ability to do certain things independently runs the so-called survival mechanism that contributes to the maturation and understanding that you can safely live without whims.

Try to change the child’s attention to something else, if his desires don’t match your financial situation or lifestyle. Use parental wisdom, which is: “Tell me what you want and I’ll tell you how do without it”.

Believe it or not, children need rules and restrictions. Permissiveness is impeding emotional growth. Moreover, it develops a sense of absolute rightness that develops into willfulness and selfishness. Spoiled brat with a full set of such negative qualities will inevitably be a permanent member of the children’s conflicts with peers will not be able to find a common language with teachers and will never achieve success in team sports. The wayward children do not have friends, they are doomed to loneliness.

Become the example of respect

How to raise a child, if not for him to be a good example? Unfortunately, this is impossible, since children in precision modeling parental behavior. It is very important to show your child that you be respectful to other people. If the kid was guilty, explain to him his mistake calm, but a disciplinary tone. You should not show your anger or frustration. Communication style is one of the most simple examples that shows respect or lack of it.

Do not allow your child to watch programs in which children talk back or yell at adults.

Try to avoid constant criticism or negative judgment while interacting with their own children. We all know that sometimes rozbalovacie pranksters need to reign or siege, however, it is recommended to do it in ways that will not embarrass or humiliate the child. Otherwise, your methods of education would undermine the bonds of mutual trust and respect.

Discard hypertable

Hypertable is excessive everyday tutelage, during which parents literally hover over their children, blowing them from dust and protecting at every step. Of course, all parents have an innate instinct that helps to protect your own child. However, it is important to understand that hypertable can hurt. To properly raise a child only allowing him to face challenges, to make their own decisions and sometimes to fail. But excessive care will make the baby spoiled, self-centered and heavily dependent on their parents. Avoid hyperopic, allow your children to spread their wings, to solve problems independently and to succeed in life.

Not perevalivaya and do not indulge

Many parents, wanting to show his love to the child, indulge all his wishes, do not skimp on undue praise and all kinds of gifts. Oddly enough, but the danger of such parental behavior is that the child loses the ability to feel negative emotions. Periodically telling the child “no”, you get them acquainted with concepts such as disappointment and failure, he learns to cope at an early age, combining the skills of self-control.

Why self control is so important? All just, psychologists have long noticed that pampered spoiled children usually become mentally unstable self-centered adults who often experience difficulties with finances, drugs, alcohol and even the law. It is unlikely you want this future for their child. So it is not wasted in endless flattery in front of the children, there are other, more healthy ways of expressing their love.

You should reevaluate your parenting techniques, if your child (8-16 years):

Requires and expects from you only the best.

Has aspirations and goals in life.

Doesn’t know what empathy and doesn’t understand other people’s feelings.

Not able to cope with disappointments.

Not complying with its obligations.

Believes that should not adhere to any rules.

Is friends with peers who use drugs or alcohol.


Find a middle ground

You do not need to build in a family of military discipline that doesn’t involve praise and gifts just because you are afraid to spoil the child. To avoid this and your little one has grown moral, creative, hardworking, ambitious and successful person, you just don’t need to indulge all his childish whims. Set certain rules of conduct. explain to your child the value and monitor their compliance.